I just called...

This cell phone business kills me! (In a good way.)

I realize that when it comes to cell phones, I’m pretty much the last guy to climb aboard the technology train. I can only imagine that most folks upon reading this journal entry will simply sigh, shake their head in wonder, and mutter the eternal words: well, duh!

So, here’s the deal: I didn’t want a cell phone. I wasn’t entirely convinced I wanted a regular phone. But my apartment didn’t even have a phone line, and I figured that probably wasn’t the wisest way to live. On the other hand, I really wasn't looking forward to dancing the telephone tango with the phone company, either.

In years past, the national phone company, Guatel (which would later, in a creative moment of modernization, rename itself Telgua), provided exasperatingly inefficient and expensive telephone service. And I'm being very generous when I use the word "service".

Judy Strong, owner of the excellent Europa Bar & Restaurant (“English spoken, but not understood”), however, brought me up to date on the amazing advances in Guatemalan telephone technology during the past four years.

Based on her recommendation, I decided to purchase a BellSouth “Home Cell Phone”, which is a hardcover-sized unit that plugs into an electrical socket, and violá… telephone service sans telephone line. And the best part? Telephone calls to the U.S. for ten cents per minute. Ten freaking cents!

When I arrived at Tikal Futura, however, I noticed a multitude of young indigenous women flowing around the BellSouth kiosk, with newly purchased cell phones in their hands. I asked the BellSouth rep about them (the cell phones, not the indigenous women), and he told me that they were prepay phones… immediate activation, no monthly charges, free incoming calls, minutes added by purchasing phone cards … and calls to the U.S. for ten cents per minute!

The cell phone cost Q450 ($56)… and it came with Q75 of airtime included! As far as decisions go, it was a no-brainer of epic proportions!

So I own a cell phone.

And it cracks me up that I can be strolling down Sexta Avenida, the hustling and bustling central avenue of Guatemala City’s zona 1… and get a phone call from Mom.

The most fun so far… in fact, one of the most surreal experiences in my supremely surreal life… was talking to my sister Vicki on my brand new cell phone while browsing the aisles of Sears and Office Depot… in Guatemala City. Talk about freaky-weird culture shock… and fun! I swear that the phone paid for itself with that one conversation.

What a wonderful wireless world we live in!