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December 02, 2004Holiday TipsAutor unknown (Thanks to Mom for this funny email!) 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread all tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Posted by elcanche at December 2, 2004 04:41 PMComments
I want to be that person to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, frappuccino in the other, glad I got to enjoy life. Taking time out for fun stuff, friends and family. Time to get in touch with old friends or make new ones. Life is to be celebrated - I think sometimes its hard in todays world (whever we are) to remember that. The little things tend to get to us, becoming bigger than they should. I guess this time of year is the time to reflect, and change what we need or want to. I for one, will start with keeping more in touch with family and friends. Now I have some emails to write. Wishing everyone a great day! Posted by: Vicki at December 3, 2004 07:42 AM9 Days and counting! Didn't think I would forget, did you? Nine days left. Time to email your love ones a xmas list. This is your chore for the day (or night). Aren't you glad I said I would write more to family and friends :) love sis Posted by: Vicki at December 3, 2004 07:45 AM8 days and counting Rob! I know you can't wait. The kids are super charging themselves for you. They even spent the last 3 weeks getting sick so they are done and over with that! Sarah is soooo hyper, she barely sits anymore. So, Lets get going on ideas to wipe the energy out of these kids!! If you have any ideas, please send them my way, I'll test them out. Posted by: Vicki at December 4, 2004 01:17 PM6 Days and Counting! How's that? We skipped a whole day. (ok, I mess up somewhere along the line and did 8 days twice). So, 6 days now, and snow is on the way here in NY for you. All things are coming together. love sis Posted by: Vicki at December 5, 2004 08:12 AM5 days and counting. Its snowing as I write, I am thinking a snowball fight might actually happen this year. Maybe earlier than I was expecting too. I know better to ask if you have started packing. I'll ask in about 4 more days - Love sis Posted by: Vicki at December 6, 2004 10:47 AM4 Days and counting. Ok Rob, time to get it together. You need to send a xmas wish list or heaven knows what you could end up with. When people don't know what to buy you, they buy you marizipan and chocolates. Oh..... :) I got it! Smart man, Robert Mercatante. Beware of this tatic Rob. Posted by: Vicki at December 7, 2004 05:49 AMTwo Christmas songs are coming to mind as I read the comments, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" and "I'll be Home for Christmas." We don't have enough snow yet for "Frosty the Snowman! 3 Days and counting. Did you pack yet? Did you pack yet? Did you pack yet? I know you haven't even started! Pete wanted me to write that everyday since we started counting down. You gotta love him! Mom ordered a shadow cake, rainbow cookies, and hopefully sarah bernharts for Sunday. Now, if that's not a good enough incentive, I don't know what is! And your first dinner home isn't cooked by mom!!! kidding mom, just had to do it... :) Mom ordered a lasagne from an italian restaurant. Actually, this is all because of your wonderful, loving, best sis in the world turning yet another year older, but who cares - its worth it in my opinion, what about yours? love sis Posted by: Vicki at December 8, 2004 06:05 AM2 Days and counting! Holy cow! Time does fly! Only 2 days, so have you packed yet? have you packed yet??? have you got a lot of coffee pack yet? :) he he Remember how much we love you! Holy Cow is right! It looks like Vicki is posting more to your web site than you are! Have a great trip. Enjoy the cold, snowy weather and wave out the window as you fly over South Florida. Posted by: Dave at December 9, 2004 08:24 AM1 Day to go!!! I know you still haven't packed - that will be done late tonight or perhaps early tomorrow am? The snow has washed away by all the rain, but - we still might have some coming our way soon. Better make sure you bring your really really super warm clothes home. hint hint. I can't wait to be back at the coffee beanery with you, saying hi to Magde, and relaxing. Oh, we can do some shopping too! love ya, won't see you tomorrow :) but will on Sunday!!!!! love sis Posted by: Vicki at December 10, 2004 06:23 AMHey Rob! Have a wonderful trip home! All of my love and holiday wishes to your family! Hope Santa is good to you! Merry Christmas! |
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