Where in the world is Rob?

Safe and sound (and sweaty) in Tapachula.

Ok, I know what some of you are wondering. Since when has Tapachula been a part of El Salvador?

Well, to those who know me, this will come as no surprise: there was a last minute change of plans. My friend Lourdes gave me the wonderful gift of a relaxing weekend at the beach in Monterrico. She was then going to drop me off at the nearby Salvadoran border so that I could renew my Guatemalan visa.

But towards the end of the trip, she confessed her apprehension at driving back to Guatemala City alone. Well, of course I decided to ride with here back to Guatemala City.

Back at home, I thought: what the heck, I might as well return to my old getaway: Tapachula, a small city Chiapas, Mexico… some six hours by bus.

Many things have changed here since my last visit, some five or six years ago (hey don’t give me that “well, duh” comment… more is actually the SAME than different here. Change happens slower south of the border!)

One of the sweeeet changes is the availability, once daily, of a deluxe bus direct to Tapachula. For about $40 dollars roundtrip, you can make the six hour trip through the sizzling southlands in the lap of luxury. It was like flying first class (but only four feet off the ground!) In this one-of-a-kind, double-decker bus, there’s a "special" cabin in back with nine reclining seats. In addition to the air-conditioning, there was a movie (Shall we Dance, with Richard Gere), and a “stewardess” serving breakfast (pancakes, fresh fruit and banana bread) and refreshments. Chicken bus, this ain’t.

The bus drops you off at this barely-more-than-a-shack outpost which serves as the Guatemalan Immigration office. Money changers, kids begging for “a peso or a quetzal”, and some very shady types buzz around the line of folks waiting to check out of Guatemala.

I was a bit anxious because my visa had expired yesterday… but the immigration official was quick and courteous, and charged me nothing more than the usual Q10 ($1.25) departure fee.

You then have to walk across a short bridge into Mexico, and hit the Mexican Immigration offices. Here the process was, if it were possible, even quicker and easier. The officer asked my destination. I replied “Tapachula.” He said “That’s as far as you’re going?” “Yep,” I answered. He stamped my passport and handed it back to me.

This seemed too good to be true. “Um, excuse me” I inquired “is that all?”

He smiled at me at me and said “have a good trip!”

Wow! I was impressed. No paperwork, no fees, no nada! I settled back into my luxury seat feeling pretty darned good about Life in General. That is, until we were pulled over at a Border Patrol checkpoint a few minutes down the road. An official climbed onto the bus and said “papeles, por favor”… “passports, please.”

No problemo. I handed him mine and he said “and your tourist permit?” “Here,” I said, pointing to the entrance stamp in the passport.

The officer slowly shook his head “No, no, no… you need a tourist card… a piece of paper…You can’t travel in Mexico without the card” he said, giving me the universal “dumb gringo” look.

Thankfully, this wasn’t my first time crossing this border. “Exactly!!!” I said in eager agreement with the surprised officer. “That’s what I thought!”

Now the officer was clearly getting confused. I told him “Every single time I’ve entered Mexico before I’ve had to fill out a visitor’s form, right?” The official nodded. “So this time, when the immigration official lets me through with a quick stamp, I actually questioned him. And you know what he said?”

The officer was now thoroughly entranced. “No, what?” he asked.

“Have a good trip!” I answered.

The officer looked at me. All of the other passengers were looking at me. He opened his mouth. He closed his mouth. After a moment of intense silence… he handed me back my passport and left the bus.

Less than thirty minutes later we pulled into beautiful Tapachula.

And thanks to a birthday present from my brother Andy, and his wife Marisa, I’ve decided to splurge and get a room at the Hotel Fenix, which actually has air-conditioning! And, in this 90 degree heat, that is a truly wonderful gift!

I’ve already had my all-time favorite lunch: Torta Cubana y licuado de sandia (Cuban sandwich and a watermelon shake) at Los Comales Restaurant near the park. Now I’m off to stroll the city streets. Maybe later I’ll catch a movie.

Exile is hell.

Posted by elcanche at April 10, 2005 05:30 PM