I love paying bills

Yesterday I walked over to the TELGUA offices to pay my phone bill. It's not an activity that usually provides me with a sense of satisfaction or any great gratification.

In fact, I only go there as often as necessary to keep my telephone from being disconnected.

A trip to TELGUA involves, for me, waiting on two lines. The first, is where you tell the person at the computer your telephone number, and they print out your bill. The second (more painful) line, is where you actually pay your bill.

I knew that I was in trouble. I hadn't paid my phone bill in something like, say, oh... two months? Maybe?

So it was with certain trepidation that I approached the woman behind the computer. "Um, hi", I mumbled. "Number 2253-3470" I added, almost apologetically.

And then I saw a strange look flit across her face. "I'm so screwed", I thought. "Heck, maybe they've already cut my phone line and I didn't even notice."

She asked me for my phone number again. I repeated it. Sweat started forming on the back of my neck. "From now on", I swore to myself, "I'm paying my bills on time. Maybe even early. And I'll even include a gratuity."

The woman told me to go straight to the cashier and tell her my telephone number. I started panicking:

"What about my phone bill? Don't I get a phone bill? DON'T I NEED A PHONE BILL?!?"

The woman (in retrospect, the beautiful woman) gently replied "No, no... that's not necessary. You only owe one quetzal."

A QUETZAL?!? WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THAT KIND OF MONEY?!? I'M A VOLUNTEER, NOT A DRUG LORD, AND I....

"I'm sorry," I said, leaning forward to assist what I imagined to be my rapidly-failing hearing, "did you say 'one quetzal?'" The beautiful woman smiled and nodded.

I walked away in a haze of disbelief. When I finally reached the cashier, I slid a quetzal coin across the glass counter, and waited for her to either to start laughing or call security. She did neither. She took down my phone number and printed out the receipt.

She even said "have a nice day". And since my phone bill for the last two months ended up costing a total of 13 US cents... I did have a nice day!

Posted by elcanche at June 8, 2005 09:40 PM