Flu ... Ew!

It wasn't the Asian Bird Flu.

It was more like the New York Brrr Flu. Or maybe a case of Mad Reindeer Disease. Whatever it was, it has had me flat on my back since Christmas Day.

No sooner were the presents unwrapped than I found myself under wraps: a couple of heavy blankets and a thick comforter. Christmas always sends a chill down my spine, but this year the chill spread to the rest of my body, followed shortly thereafter by a fever, sore throat, sneezing and bone-bruising coughs.

Damned gringo germs. (You know, my Guatemalan coworkers warned me not to drink the water in the States.)

I not only had the "blahs", I had the even more dreadful "bulls":

I felt so TERRIBLE that despite the abundance of chocolate and marzipan in the house (not to mention the chocolate-covered marzipan) I could only stomach liquids.

I felt so HORRIBLE that I my gift certificates to Borders and Barnes & Noble bookstores went unused.

I felt so MISERABLE that I went nearly a week without drinking a single cup of coffee. (I know!)

I had hoped to keep atop the news and maintain this website's cutting-edge commentary on current events, but instead I spent the week under the weather, staring bleary-eyed at the television.

After a week of watching daytime t.v. I have lost not only the ability to speak in Spanish, but also to think coherently in English. I only pray that the brain-damage isn't permanent. What, huh?

And the ads, oh my dear god, the ads. It seemed as if all they were selling were prescription drugs, alcoholic beverages and cars. Oh, and insurance. (Which makes sense: if you're going to wash down a couple of Claritin with some Bud Light before hopping in your Hummer, it's good to be insured!)

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to wish everyone a "Merry Christmas" or a "Happy Hanukkah". I sincerely hope that your holidays were fun-filled and fever-free.

And since no-one knows what tomorrow holds... I'll wish everyone an early "Feliz Año Nuevo" and a 2006 positively overflowing with happiness!

Tags: Guatemala, Flu, Christmas, Television, Ads

Posted by elcanche at December 30, 2005 05:40 PM