June 06, 2006
Colbert's Commencement
Stephen Colbert does it again... this time in a commencement address at Knox College this past weekend. You have to love his “tongue-in-right-wing-cheek” take on the immigration issue!
And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-porous borders.
Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, but here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job.
But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spanish, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.
So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That’s the answer. That may not be enough—maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles.
And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out.
And because immigrants can swim, we’ll probably want to wall off the coasts as well.
And while we’re at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we’ll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free.
It’s time for illegal immigrants to go—right after they finish building those walls.
Read the entire speech!
Tags: Stephen, Colbert, Commencement, Address, Speech, Immigration, Border
Posted by elcanche at June 6, 2006 08:33 PM
His satire is about at the 3rd grade level. Next time he says something like this, perhaps he could also explain the immigration policies of Mexico. (Immigration, not emigration).
Dear Rob, Stephen Colbert is definitely silly as the previous post proclaims. However,Colbert shows us through humor the fallacy of the right wing agenda. These illegal aliens are coming to the USA because our imperialistic NAFTA policy has further eroded the economic stability of Mexico.
The real silliness lies in this administration calling Mexicans and gays the "bogeymen" in todays society when, in fact, the real issue this administration should be addressing is, "Why we are in a war that was begun with lies and are now saying that more young people must die to honor those who have already died." Bob Cruickshank
